I'm doing it. I've decided to jump in with 2 feet & everything else that follows (hopefully my flabby arms, butt, and gut.) I'm beginning my journey of gastric bypass.
{Random side note: I'm sitting here looking at a whole slew of cupcakes. That's how I came up with my blog name.}
I just can't do this anymore. I'm 'at Cupcake's end'.
After being heavy, chunky, plump, fat, overweight, obese, morbidly obese (medical term for a BMI >40) for almost the last 20 years, I'm just done. I need a serious, harsh and brutal divorce from food. I need a fighting chance to be healthy.
I remember going on my first diet when I was in 2nd grade. 2nd GRADE. Who does that? Maybe I'll write down my "how I got here" story later.
At this moment I have fears, anxiety, and an excitement about the future that I don't remember having in quite some time.
My fears include...
-- people thinking "she's taking the easy way out." For these people, I will ask you to read this. I see GBP as a tool. I have the choice to use that tool wisely and make it effective or I can throw away my chance to get healthy.
-- how will people treat me different if I'm 150 pounds than 290 pounds? will it be a good or bad difference?
-- will this change my marriage? Rich is planning on having GBP at the beginning of 2011 :o)
-- what if my PCOS symptoms don't subside?
-- how will I manage when I literally CAN'T eat, and my brain tells me I'm hungry but my body aches from being stapled?
ALL IN ALL though... I know this will be the best decision I could make for myself. I have to give myself a shot to be who God has called me to be, and to do what God has called me to do. I can't let fat be the obstacle that prevents me from living the life that God has given me.
So I go Sept 8th for my first meeting at Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center... Bariatric Surgery Seminar.
Specific prayers:
I will be able to get all the paperwork in order for the surgeons and the insurance quickly.
That I will be deemed a candidate for the surgery.
My insurance at United Health Care will approve me for coverage.
I would like to have the surgery at the beginning of November.
