Happy 1 Year SURGIVERSARY!!

ONE YEAR LATER....

Wow. It's hard to believe that my WLS was 1 year ago today. I remember it like it was yesterday, and yet it seems like decades ago.

As of today, I have lost 98 pounds since the day of my surgery! My total weight loss since the beginning of my gastric bypass journey is -120 pounds!

I don't even know where to start to tell you how much better I feel... physically, emotionally & even spiritually ~~

PHYSICALLY...

• No longer a pre-diabetic
• No more high blood pressure
• No more high cholesterol
  
• I wear a size 10/12 & Large tops (Down from a 22/24 & 3x tops where I looked like a busted can of biscuits)
• My shoe size has gone from a 10 to 9 1/2
• I take the stairs at work, and don't feel like I'm going to pass out when I reach the top
• Char-dog has become my *running* partner
• I'm training for a 5k on March 31st .... why not run my way into my 30s?! ;o)
  
• We eat high protein meals
• I stay away from rice, pasta & bread
• I don't crave fast food
• I still have no grace ;o)
• I eat every 2-3 hours
• I don't recognize myself in the mirror sometimes
• I have clavicles! 2 of 'em
  
• I enjoy shopping FOR MYSELF! (but I'm still in and out, no browsing needed)
  

EMOTIONALLY & SPIRITUALLY...

• I feel good about myself
• I finally accomplished a New Years Resolution in 2011
• I'm still a food addict. I always will be. WLS was the tool to help me jumpstart my rehab.
• I feel more comfortable meeting new people and reconnected with old friends
• I went through about 6 weeks of depression right after surgery ~ it was like my best friend (named Food) had been ripped away from me. I'm thankful for how God got me through that, and how much I learned about my dependence on food during that time.
  
• I am so proud of Richard! He's so hott ;o)
  

BEST DECISION I could have made! Gastric bypass surgery has transformed my life, and given me back confidence that I didn't even know I could have. I believe I'm more of an optimist now, seeing more potential in people and situations that they see in themselves. I've been given the opportunity to live my life to the fullest, and I plan on taking full advantage of it!

I believe fully that God's not done with any of us yet...
"There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears."
Philippians 1:6

Visualizing It.

I'm so nervous about tomorrow's weigh in. I haven't hated the scale this much since January 11th 2011. Ha!

Tonight I kicked it in high gear after work.
I did some 5k training on the treadmill, doing 30 minutes of my walk/run split. Then I headed over to Spin out for over an hour on the bike. I spun for an hour and 6 minutes, new record for me. It's funny how I despise the first 15 minutes of Spin Class, but then I enjoy the last 30 because it becomes a competition for me to see how hard I can finish.

In Spin, I kept visualizing 199.
It made me push a little harder, and crank that little red devil knob another turn to the right.

199. 199. 199. 199. 199.
199. 199. 199. 199. 199.
199. 199. 199. 199. 199.
199. 199. 199. 199. 199.

It's hard when you've been consistently seeing the # on the scale go down each and every week for 4 1/2 months, then it stops. It even stops when you shove your workouts into overdrive 6 days a weeks. I guess this is God's way of telling me to stop obsessing about the number on the scale. So hard not to do.

Either way, I WILL get to ONEDERLAND.
Maybe tomorrow. It may be next week. It may be next month.
I WILL get to ONDERLAND.
199. 199. 199. 199. 199.

I don't trust myself.

Rich bought a box of pastries.
There was one luscious looking fruity triangle left in that see-thru box.
I made him put it in his car, and take it with him to work.
I DON'T TRUST MYSELF alone!

Even knowing that I could possibly dump after eating something like that~ it's SO FRUSTRATING that my mind still wants it.
_________________________________

Rich went to his nutrition class today, and somehow ended up telling Amber (our Nutritionist) that my weight at plateaued and I was frustrated that I was exercising everyday with no change. Her response was reassuring, pretty much saying that it was normal and one day I'll wake up and have lost 10 pounds. I'm READY for that day ;o)

What'd I'd tell the Pre-Op Girl - 3 months out

What would I tell the Pre-Op Girl now?

Three months is such a short time, yet life-changing. Looking back on this post I did August 31, 2010 -- I had such anxiety, fear, and yet all that was overshadowed by the excitement and hope I had for the future.

Truth is, I still have some of that anxiety & fear (though it has changed) but now-- 3 months after my gastric bypass surgery-- the hope I was feeling is becoming reality. And that is exciting.

Some fears from my Pre-Op Stage revisited:
People thinking I took the "easy way out" --
Psh. If you think that having your guts rearranged is "easy," then you're nuts. I am beginning to believe that obesity and food addiction is just slow suicide. I'm sure that seems harsh, but that's really what we are doing to ourselves... it's a slow death, and often an unhealthy road getting there. WLS was not an easy decision, and post-op is FAR FROM EASY. Yes, the weight comes off quickly BUT that comes with forcing yourself to eat when you don't want to, constantly drinking liquids to prevent dehydration, and oh the vitamins (Morning, Mid-Morning, Noon, Night). Not to mention-- nausea, never knowning if one food will be fine one day but not stay down the next, and the head hunger that you still have to deal with.

Marriage & relationships --
MOST people have been extremely supportive. Others I believe just don't know how to react. Heck, sometimes I don't even know how to react! Part of this I do believe are the misconceptions about bariatric surgery (believe me, everybody has a friend of a friend of a friend who died from gastric bypass surgery -- this is a post for another day.)
My marriage is great. Richard is SO complimentary & supportive, and I've tried to be mindful of how my weight loss might make him feel. He looks out for me saying, "you shouldn't eat that" "you don't want to get sick." Rich is moving along in his journey as well, even has his psych evaluation on Wednesday :o) I'm excited for him!

PCOS --
Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. (Read more here.) My symptoms have actually gotten worse in the last couple of months. Boo. However, I'm still hopeful as the next 30-50 lbs come off, I'll see an improvement. I have been seeing my doctor regularly to get this worked out.

Stomach fixed, brain still messed up --
Even though my stomach is the size of an egg, my brain still tells me I can (and want) to eat the whole pepperoni pizza, large Coke, and not to forget the big slice of chocolate cake afterwards. BUT this changes. Richard & I were just talking today about how I don't crave that stuff anymore. I DON'T, not kidding. I can pass a McDonalds, Wendy's, Domino's and not think twice about stopping. My tastes have changed. I actually love red peppers... who knew!? My head still has moments of utter food addiction weakness, and wants food that I can't have. But the yearning does pass quickly. Foods that used to satisfy me don't give me the same euphoric comfort anymore. I do indulge occasionally in a piece of sugar free candy or SF cookie. But I eat 1 -- not the entire sleeve of Thin Mints.

I'm still a work in progress. It's a constant battle but now a battle that I feel I am winning, and in turn will win this war against obesity.

Do You Have Any Regrets?

I woke up this morning with a pretty positive outlook on the week. I think getting to church yesterday was what did it ;o)

So.... DO I HAVE ANY REGRETS? I don't think anyone should answer this question until they are several months post-op. Probably at least 6 months or more. I'm about 2 1/2 weeks out of surgery, and I'm still recovering from the surgery. I'm trying to get used to a new way of eating. So check back in 6 months and I'll have an answer for ya ;o)

I was still struggling a little with getting nauseous in the morning, but I honestly think most of it was brought on by my head. It's amazing what the mind can make the body do. I've started drinking 8oz of sugar free apple cider first thing in the morning, and this has really helped to settle my pouch. Surprisingly, I was apple to drink the entire 8oz this morning in about 40 minutes. I'm pretty stoked about that.

I'm trying something new this morning. I have to take 3 of these MASSIVE calcium citrate vitamins a day. It's like chewing mint flavored chalk. {Just being honest here.} Today I'm trying something new. I've crushed it up, and I'm gonna put it in some chocolate pudding. I'm hoping it might just taste like Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream ;o)

UPDATE** calcium citrate pudding is a no go. had to gag it down. yuck. I did try a sample of a cherry tart calcium citrate from Celebrate after the other was a no-go, and it was tolerable. It reminded me of a huge chalky sweet-tart... sort of :o/

Alright, so on to start a great day! :o)

2 Week Post-Op

my hair looks funky messy :o)

Ups & Downs & Spin-Arounds

I've been having some ups and downs these past few days. Nothing I didn't expect :o) Everything is fine physically, I think it's more in my head. It's funny that the surgeons can fix your stomach, but they can't fix your head ;o) I still have "head hunger" (you know when you want something to eat but you aren't hungry)... yep, still happens! But I'm learning that this is THE time for me to rely on God like never before, and deal with my emotions, feelings, and habits.

This is so similar to any New Years Resolution. You are gung-ho for several weeks, then your willpower starts to waver. Only for me this year, I don't have a choice ;o) But I still have to deal with the "why"s of why I do what I do.

I've noticed that my tastes have changed like crazy, done a complete 180. Nothing really tastes good, and I HAVE to find a protein shake that I like. It's going to be a lot of trial and error I suspect. So please say a prayer for me to find one that I can tolerate.

I was really hoping for snow tomorrow! the one time that I can't get out of the house... it'd be nice to look at the beautiful white stuff from my window. So as many of you are praying for no snow... I'll be praying we get 6 inches! heehee!