HAPPY 8 MONTHS!

I can't believe it's been 8 months since my LIFE CHANGING weight loss surgery. I don't think I can put into words how my life has changed for the best from my health & overall appearance to my self esteem and energy. I'm in a size 14 jean (down from a tight-really-need-a-26 size 24) and a size Large shirt.

Today I stepped on the scale and weighed... 182 lbs.
I've lost 88 pounds since January 12th. I've lost 110 pounds from my highest weight of 292 pounds. That's crazy.



Richard is now down to 308 pounds. He's lost 92 pounds in 11 weeks! I AM SO PROUD OF HIM!! I always thought he was handsome, but now... well he's down right sexy ;o) ~~~ and he's MINE!

We're going to do some updated pics in the next week or so, stay tuned!

A few things:
1. I love to feel girly. I love bracelets, earrings & skirts.
2. Heels don't kill my feet like they used to!
3. Exercise is still not easy. And I still don't like it.
4. I can run the length of a parking lot without getting winded.
5. I can climb 4 flights of stairs without feeling like my lungs are going to burst.
6. Foods I used to love & crave, don't taste as good. (ie: mac & cheese, candy bars, pasta)
7. Diet soda are gross. It's funny how I used to LOVE diet coke, and now it tastes like medicine.
8. I am just as full when I eat a cheese stick as I am when I eat a sugar free cookie. The cheese stick is better for me.
9. I sometimes don't recognize the lady passing in the mirror.
10. I love having collar bones that aren't hidden!

Week 22 - Weigh In (& Weight Discrimination)

I'm down to 196 lbs today! Woot! (-74 lbs since WLS)
Honestly, I forgot to weigh last week. Then time got away from me, and I forgot to post after I weighed this past weekend.

So much has been happening these past 2 weeks!
I received an interview at LabCorp about 2 weeks ago, and then was offered the job last week! Woot! My position is HealthCare Billing Specialist, and I start July 5th. Super stoked!

I do have to say that losing this weight definitely took away that self conscious thing during the interview. I didn't worry about how I looked in my interview suit, because I knew I looked good ;o) ha!

But seriously, I do believe that there is a problem in the workplace today with weight discrimination. If there are two people applying for the same position, with the same qualifications and one is overweight- most of the time, the thinner person will receive the position. Unfortunately, overweight and obese individuals are often looked at as lazy.

There are several layers to this. I understand employers much look at the whole picture-- for example: obese individuals typically have more health problems; therefore, they will miss more time at work. (As for me and my husband, we rarely missed any work for health related reasons until this year when we decided to embark on our gastric bypass journey.)

Anyway, that's just the tip of the iceberg of this subject, but I really enjoyed this article by the Obesity Action Coalition --> http://www.obesityaction.org/magazine/oacnews12/obesityanddiscrimination.php

I really like what the OAC is doing, and am finding myself more and more on board with their efforts to education people about obesity.

What'd I'd tell the Pre-Op Girl - 3 months out

What would I tell the Pre-Op Girl now?

Three months is such a short time, yet life-changing. Looking back on this post I did August 31, 2010 -- I had such anxiety, fear, and yet all that was overshadowed by the excitement and hope I had for the future.

Truth is, I still have some of that anxiety & fear (though it has changed) but now-- 3 months after my gastric bypass surgery-- the hope I was feeling is becoming reality. And that is exciting.

Some fears from my Pre-Op Stage revisited:
People thinking I took the "easy way out" --
Psh. If you think that having your guts rearranged is "easy," then you're nuts. I am beginning to believe that obesity and food addiction is just slow suicide. I'm sure that seems harsh, but that's really what we are doing to ourselves... it's a slow death, and often an unhealthy road getting there. WLS was not an easy decision, and post-op is FAR FROM EASY. Yes, the weight comes off quickly BUT that comes with forcing yourself to eat when you don't want to, constantly drinking liquids to prevent dehydration, and oh the vitamins (Morning, Mid-Morning, Noon, Night). Not to mention-- nausea, never knowning if one food will be fine one day but not stay down the next, and the head hunger that you still have to deal with.

Marriage & relationships --
MOST people have been extremely supportive. Others I believe just don't know how to react. Heck, sometimes I don't even know how to react! Part of this I do believe are the misconceptions about bariatric surgery (believe me, everybody has a friend of a friend of a friend who died from gastric bypass surgery -- this is a post for another day.)
My marriage is great. Richard is SO complimentary & supportive, and I've tried to be mindful of how my weight loss might make him feel. He looks out for me saying, "you shouldn't eat that" "you don't want to get sick." Rich is moving along in his journey as well, even has his psych evaluation on Wednesday :o) I'm excited for him!

PCOS --
Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. (Read more here.) My symptoms have actually gotten worse in the last couple of months. Boo. However, I'm still hopeful as the next 30-50 lbs come off, I'll see an improvement. I have been seeing my doctor regularly to get this worked out.

Stomach fixed, brain still messed up --
Even though my stomach is the size of an egg, my brain still tells me I can (and want) to eat the whole pepperoni pizza, large Coke, and not to forget the big slice of chocolate cake afterwards. BUT this changes. Richard & I were just talking today about how I don't crave that stuff anymore. I DON'T, not kidding. I can pass a McDonalds, Wendy's, Domino's and not think twice about stopping. My tastes have changed. I actually love red peppers... who knew!? My head still has moments of utter food addiction weakness, and wants food that I can't have. But the yearning does pass quickly. Foods that used to satisfy me don't give me the same euphoric comfort anymore. I do indulge occasionally in a piece of sugar free candy or SF cookie. But I eat 1 -- not the entire sleeve of Thin Mints.

I'm still a work in progress. It's a constant battle but now a battle that I feel I am winning, and in turn will win this war against obesity.

3 Month - Lessons from the Protein Fiend

Happy 3 Months! Today is officially my 3 month "surgiversary" :o)

I made it smiling... and now 60 POUNDS lighter.

Tomorrow is my official weigh in day, but I went with it this morning... and lost another -3 pounds this week. Bringing my grand total to 60 pounds in 3 months.

Lessons from the Protein Fiend:
-- food is for surviving physically, not emotionally.
-- shop on the outside aisles of the grocery store.
(seriously, I only go on the "inside" for canned fruit, ziploc bags & dog food)
(...... & the occasional sugar free cookie)
-- protein is king.
(makes me feel better & keeps my hair from falling out)
-- beans, beans, beans = cheap protein.
-- eating out means eating simple.
(I order items with no sauces, no extra bread, water in a to-go cup, cooked veges & salad for sides... the more simple, the better)
-- exercise needs to happen.
(you might think that 60 pounds lighter I'd be able to run faster and jump higher, but the fact is... you actually have to walk to be able to run. It doesn't come just because the weight it gone.)

Head Monster

I've learned a lot this week. These days I learn a lot about myself each week as I continue each day with this new lifestyle of eating and exercising.

This week though, it was all about head hunger (aka: emotional eating.) Here's the thing, they "fixed" my stomach... but my head, well... it's still messed up ;o)

This week I found myself craving food. Not just any food mind you. Junk food. Salty Food. Carbs. All the stuff that I can't have. Even fast food. (I have had no desire for anything fast food in over 2 months. The thought of the grease and fat makes me gag. Strange, huh?!)

But this week, I found myself getting wrapped up in life and forgetting to eat. Mind you-- I am not hungry, so I have to force myself to eat right now. Before surgery, my hardest time was at night and when I'm alone. Well that head monster reared it's ugly head this week. I found myself going to the refrigerator and just standing there, staring at it. Do you ever do that? ;o)

Yesterday was the worst. I stopped and got Richard some lunch. Truthfully, I stopped to get me some mashed potatoes (pre-surgery comfort food which I'm not suppose to have) and felt guilty so I rationalized it with 'I'm getting Rich lunch.'

With his sweet tea sitting beside me in the car... wasn't even thinking... took a HUGE gulp of it. Before I could even get the whole gulp down, I realized what I did. PANIC MODE!

Images of an hour long dumping syndrome started playing out in my head. What was I thinking?! Thankfully I did not have any side effects (this time), but it got my attention. I was eating (and drinking) out of pure emotions.

I cannot and will not fall back into these old habits. So for the next few weeks, I WILL tame this head monster. It will not defeat me!

Old Habits Die Hard

I'm learning that even though my stomach is now the size of an egg, my old habits are still as strong as ever.

I learned a very important lesson on Friday night. I had just eaten something, and for some crazy reason left my brain in the refrigerator when I got out the milk. The next thing I know, I chugged a cup of milk. Chugged it, don't even remember swallowing.

Oh the pain that followed. The worst part was that I couldn't get it to come back up for some relief (sorry if that's TMI.) So after about 20 minutes of pain and hovering over the toilet without any luck, I managed to get down a nausea pill. After that kicked in 30 minutes later, I went to sleep.

Lesson Learned: Sip. Don't gulp. Sip. Don't chug. SIP.

It's a good reminder to me that even though I'm feeling better, it's so important to continue all the new lifestyle changes until they are habit. Sipping, not gulping. Taking 30 minutes to eat. Not drinking while eating (or 30 min before or after.) Eating small frequent meals. Avoid sugars, fats, and simple carbs. No carbonated drinks. No caffeine. Exercise, 30 minutes a day. Just to name a few :o)

All that to say.... just like being on any other diet, Lifestyle Changes are a must for success!

Ups & Downs & Spin-Arounds

I've been having some ups and downs these past few days. Nothing I didn't expect :o) Everything is fine physically, I think it's more in my head. It's funny that the surgeons can fix your stomach, but they can't fix your head ;o) I still have "head hunger" (you know when you want something to eat but you aren't hungry)... yep, still happens! But I'm learning that this is THE time for me to rely on God like never before, and deal with my emotions, feelings, and habits.

This is so similar to any New Years Resolution. You are gung-ho for several weeks, then your willpower starts to waver. Only for me this year, I don't have a choice ;o) But I still have to deal with the "why"s of why I do what I do.

I've noticed that my tastes have changed like crazy, done a complete 180. Nothing really tastes good, and I HAVE to find a protein shake that I like. It's going to be a lot of trial and error I suspect. So please say a prayer for me to find one that I can tolerate.

I was really hoping for snow tomorrow! the one time that I can't get out of the house... it'd be nice to look at the beautiful white stuff from my window. So as many of you are praying for no snow... I'll be praying we get 6 inches! heehee!

Risk

This picture hung in the hall of the hospital a couple doors down from me. Everytime I passed it, I would stop and read it.

RISK
"You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore."

When making the decision to have WLS (weight loss surgery), I did a lot of research. When it came down to it, for me it was all about risk. Was the risk of surgery & complications worth the life-long, life-changing benefits that it had the potential to bring?

For me, this was an overwhelming YES. Pre-surgery, I was on no medications, had no serious health problems, no sleep apnea, no diabetes, no high blood pressure. Just being completely honest, about the only thing I've had issues with was with conceiving. But I would not allow myself to become diabetic before I was 30 years old! I could not allow myself to miss out on what God has in store for me, because of my addiction to food. WLS is not a quick fix, it's not the easy way out, but it has given me a time frame that I'll call a sort of "divorce from food."

Losing sight of that shoreline is like heading into the unknown. It's a good thing! It's a little painful, and I sometimes get a little seasick ;o) But knowing that God's leading me with every sip of Crystal Light, every swallow of the calcium... the risk of of the unknown is far less scary, and only that more exciting!